Bridal Shower Ettiquette?

I am the sister of the GROOM. My daughter is a flower girl. My mother and I were invited to attend a bridal shower meeting at the Mother of the bride's home, along with the bridesmaids, bride's grandmother, and bride's aunt (who also has a daughter as a flower girl and son as ring bearer).





We soon found out we were invited not only to be "included" in the planning, but to be included in paying for the shower! My mother is a (widow) single parent and paying for the rehearsal dinner in which nobody was asked to help pay for. And I am the sister of the bride with a young flower girl who obviously is too young to pay? I felt very awkward and a bit mislead by this at the meeting and never said a word and I think they got the hint that I didn't plan on paying for anything. Was I wrong? I didn't think the sis of the groom, nor a young flower girl, should be expected to pitch in for a shower. Help, we have another meeting to finalize ideas and I'm thinking I should not attend this.

Bridal Shower Ettiquette?
I HAVE BEEN IN 10 WEDDINGS AND ATTENDED ROUGHLY 150 SHOWERSS. THIS IS THE WAY IT WORKS.





THE BRIDAL PARTY (ADULTS) SPLIT THE COST OF THE SHOWER BETWEEN THEM.


YOUR DAUGHTER AND ANY OTHER FLOWER GIRLS SHOULD CHIP IN FOR THE GIFT ONLY OR PURCHASE ON YOUR OWN.


YOU SHOULD PURCHASE YOUR OWN GIFT ( YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY PART OF THE BRIDAL SHOWER $$$ WISE)


THE MOTHERS PURCHASE GIFTS AND ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY $$$ OF THE SHOWER UNLESS THEY CHOOSE TO BE GENEROUS.


SPEAK UP!! YOU SHOULD ATTEND THE MEETING AND BRING A COPY OF MY REPLY INSTEAD OF SAYING IT!!!


GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:well first you said you were the sister of the groom and then you said you were the sister of the bride. Proper etiquette is that the maid of honor, bridesmaids, family of bride, pay for the bridal shower. You should have no obligations (financial and non financial), but to your brother and daughter...if you are the sis of the groom.
Reply:It sounds like they just assumed you'd want in on the planning since they invited you to the planning meeting! If you gave them no previous indication that you would be helping throw the shower, then you really dont have to. However, since you attended the "meeting" they may have taken that as you wanted to help. I think its weird to have a meeting with all these people anyway! They need to read up on wedding ettiquette. First of all the mother of the bride shouldnt be throwing a shower anyway. Its up to the maid of honor and the bridesmaids, who can assign or ask for help as needed. If I were you I'd let them know youre helping with the rehersal dinner and then do just that! What can they say if you do that. Its a win-win. Good luck!

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