Wedding dilemma?

Tomorrow is my partners' sisters wedding.





The happy couple have had a wirlwind romance and the bride to be has been swept off her feet by her knight in shining armour. Its a fairy tale ending that the rest of us could only hope for...





Anyways, my partner and I have been living together for 3 years, so naturally all the reletives keep asking when we are getting married...and the short answer is. We're not, I want to take things abit slower, we both have careers, a house and all the toys, I'm of the mentality that 'if it an't broke don't fix it.'





How does one convey this politly without trivialising the happy couples day in any way?





I dodn't even want to partake in the throwing of the bridal flowers as that in itself would be enough to get toungues wagging.





Help! :)

Wedding dilemma?
Just politely say " when we both feel the time is right " and either change the subject or turn and walk away.
Reply:"when we're ready!"
Reply:Laugh and say "Don't worry you'll get an invitation", then excuse your self to do something else.
Reply:Keep it real, everything that you said just now, tell them how you feel. Nothing is better than the truth. Or say you want the wedding to be perfect and you wanna save you have everything the way you want it. I don't know. This is a hard one.
Reply:Just tell them that you dont want to get married.You both are happy with the relationship the way it is and dont see the need to get married.
Reply:congrat on your friend marriage.


you family care for you and is asking for something good in your life. Living together is like being married. You have been with each other this long there is no difference if you were married. your family asking for marriege for your sake it is a man responability to take care of his family and his wife to share and sapport her husband. when you don't marrie and just live together he doesn't take responsibility in taking care of his family and you are family to this man you have been together fro three years. you have bilt a bound. it sound like you both are happy and have great careers that make it better for you both of you in take care of your life together and if will ever have children in the future. don't be afraid that if you get married that something will happen to you bother. how many man take advantage of women live with them and as soon as she get pregnant he leave. so let your family know that you understand they are concern for you and their heart are in the right place.
Reply:your very happy for the couplle etc but you don;t feel the need to rush , enjoying lots of vacations , work etc... the only reason you would is if you felt that perhaps you may want to start a family, at the moment you loce each others company so much it'll be a while off , good luck
Reply:You say, "..it's a fairy tale ending that the rest of us could only hope for.."





Do you really believe that you don't want to get married? Do you secretly hope that your partner will pop the question?





I hope you will both be happy - but be honest with one another about your feelings.
Reply:I'm with you. It drives me nuts when people ask when we're getting married - it's not anyone's business. Luckily in Canada we have common-law marriages, so after a year of living together you're equal to a legally married couple. So we don't get asked *that* much, but still, it's annoying. And I also don't do the throwing of the flowers.





Anyway, if people ask, I USED to politely say, "when gays have the same rights to get married that I do, and marriage is no longer an exclusive club, then we'll get married." That shut people up pretty quickly! But since gay marriage is now legalized in all of Canada, I can't use that one anymore!





You could just say, "When I'm ready - I'm still too young" with a smile and leave it at that. My 35-year-old coworker uses that one! It's pretty funny since it's not like she's 20, so she usually gets a giggle from the person who asks.
Reply:I'd say something else if it weren't such an important day, but how 'bout, "That's quite personal, but you'll get a save the date card with enough notice to get us plenty of gifts, don't worry!" End of conversation and change the subject.
Reply:When people ask politely tell them that you will get married when and if the time is right. You love each other and you aren't thinking about marriage at this point in time.
Reply:On the day of simply tell people something like, "We can talk about that some other time. Let the happy couple enjoy there day."


Or you can just say something like, "We've talked about it and decided to wait until the time is right."


Or..."Mind your own business" but that usually never goes over to well.


If you don't want to participate in the bouquet toss then you certainly don't have to. Just try to walk out of the room (casually of course) or just don't stand up. There have been a couple weddings when I just didn't get up for the bouquet toss (before I was married of course). No one noticed, or cared.
Reply:If you've already been committed to living together, already have a home together, and "all the toys", what is left to take slowly anyway? The best way to avoid people's tongues wagging about how you're not doing the right thing, is to DO THE RIGHT THING. Obviously you and your "partner" have an emotional, mental, and financial commitment to each other, and I would imagine love each other. What else, exactly, are you waiting for? Why not sign the piece of paper, make it official, and then not have to have the "headache" of answering why you aren't married. As for what to do tomorrow at the wedding, give any who ask just what you said here; "We're not" with a pleasant smile then change the conversation.
Reply:Oh I hate this!! People asked me this all the time at my sister's wedding and I thought it was so rude! It's really none of their business.


I just said 'We haven't got any plans yet, anyway today is Mary and John's day so we should be concentrating on them.'
Reply:I would just say that you are taking it slow and finding the time to make sure everything is secure in your future before the wedding and they'll think that you're mature for it.

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