Does my future mother-in-law want to be a bride again?

My future mother in law is slowly turning our wedding into her wedding. She tries to change everything we do, but this is another story.


The last thing weirded me out, and I feel like she wants to get married again...


She is wearing embroidered champagne gown (which almost looks bridal). If I did not know that she was a mother-in-law, I would mistake her for a bride. When I asked what kind of flowers she wanted, she said only white roses. I feel weird...

Does my future mother-in-law want to be a bride again?
Okay - I've been married for a long time. And hopefully you will too. I've had to deal w/my MIL on issues.





First - let the dress go. She feels pretty in it, and unless you are wearing champagne too, trust me, NO ONE will mistake her for the bride. At least it is a tasteful neutral color that will look nice in pictures.





Second - you pick the flowers- a nice corsage that complements yours and the bridesmaids bouquets and your overall floral selection. Since you asked (which was nice but, in retrospect, a mistake) perhaps include a small white rose bud or sweetheart rose so that she doesn't feel like you blew her off when you asked in the first place but it isn't just white flowers.








I don't think she is "weird" or you should be freaked out, she is just caught up in the spirit of the moment and perhaps a bit of a control freak (is this normal for her?). It's hard not to feel a little nostalgic and yes, in someways, want to relive it. This is also very very emotional for her, her son is getting married. My son isn't even 7, and I know I'll be an emotional mess when he gets married.





It will serve your marriage well if you learn to "play the game" and not be confrontational about it. Believe it or not, this is actually her day too in many ways - it is her child that is getting married, her friends %26amp; family that will be there, it actually isn't ALL about you.





You just wait until your child gets married. You'll see.





Be gentle with her and remember - do you want to be right for one day or happy for the rest of your marriage.
Reply:let the dress go, it is not unheard of, and she probably thinks she is completely correct wearing this truly neutral color. when caroline kennedy got married, jackie onassis wore a light, neutral champagne suit and looked completely correct. and she set the standard for everything in correctness. in fact, it would be much more of a problem if she wore something very dark or, horrors, bright. i bet you will all look fantastic. congrats
Reply:It was very kind of you to ask for her input on the flowers----but you needn't do that! You can't control what your future mother-in-law wants to wear at your wedding, but you are in charge of your wedding.





Be gracious. Smile. If your parents are paying for the wedding, tell her that you would not dare do anything without your mother's opinion and input.





If you and your fiance are hosting, tell her gently that you appreciate her input, but you're not making any changes. Final!





Best wishes to you!
Reply:Don´t do anything she is asking for. Do the way you want!


Or you will end up answering one question on Yahoo!Aswers that says...





¨Who didn´t enjoy their own wedding?¨





Do yourself a favor. Do the way YOU want. You are the bride.


End of history.
Reply:i would politely tell her that no one is wearing white, champagne or ivory to the wedding but the bride. and that the flowers will be chosen according to the color scheme of the wedding. if she balks and refuses another color dress tell her this is not a good way to start your relationship with her. it sounds as if she is trying to do her wedding day over.
Reply:Ignore her and except for what she's wearing you do what makes the two of you happy.





No one will care what she has on.....you'll be the center of attention because you're the Bride.
Reply:that would weird me out too. let's see... my guess is that she's a little power hungry with a protective barrier over her little boy. or maybe that's just my boyfriend's mom. anyway, if she's starting to make you uncomfortable, maybe you could *strongly* suggest that she carry pink roses, wear a sash or ribbon to incorporate the colors, something that gives you a little more control over her weird actions. after all, it is YOUR wedding. and you should be happy throughout the whole thing.





thunder stealers are not cool.
Reply:Girl you need to talk with your man tell him he needs to talk to his crazy mother. its your day don't let her take the lite off you. and don't let this bring you down every one knows its your day. they will just look at her and think the same thing you think she is trying to do. she will be the *** of the party. lol
Reply:Angel- She should feel like part of the wedding and I do agree with giving in a little to make people happy, you don't need to be fighting with your future mother in law. But...it is your wedding, and you should get what you want. Its not her day. You may need to tell her that.





Devil - She may WANT to be a bride, but what she NEEDS is just some grade A weiner to distract her while you get married. Get her shacked up with some romantic named Fernando, with a mule c0ck, from Chile. she will forget all about your silly little wedding.
Reply:If you feel that your future mother-in-law is stepping on your toes, your fiance should be the one to gently approach her and explain it to her. You don't need to be the bad guy and start out your marriage with friction between the two of you. My suggestion would be to have him ask her to wear a different color dress because chanpagne is too close to the bridal gown white. If she keeps trying to change your plans, he should kindly, but firmly tell her that all decisions will by made by the two of you. Hopefully, she isn't normally a difficult person and will understand. If she changes the color of her dress, a white rose corsage would be fine. Also, try asking her to help with a small, specific part of the wedding. Sometimes the mother of the groom may feel a little left out where wedding plans are concerned.
Reply:Tell her that no one will wear any type of white (champagne counts) except you and that you will be picking the flowers with your bridesmaids.
Reply:um, WEIRD ALERT! she sounds like she is trying to relive her special moment or something. back the crazy train up and tell her it is YOUR DAY, not part two of hers!





also, do not let her change your plans. tell the vendors they can only deal with you and your groom, NOT HER! tell her that you have how you want your wedding in your head and while you appreciate her help, it is a little much.
Reply:If your mother in law wants to look like the bride what do you think people will say. They may not say anything to her but she will be the talk of the town. I would let her know that her dress is inappropriate and get her a corsage that what she should have not a bouquet. A white rose corsage is fine. Good luck and Congrats on the wedding
Reply:maybe she's reminiscing. i just hope someone will have the guts to tell her that she not do anything crazy like you've mentioned because she will only look like she's competing with the star of the day, which is you. and don't let run the show even if she is your future mother-in-law. this way, she'll also realize you can't be manipulated once you're already married to her son. i mean, be nice and respect her but establish your position. best wishes.