How do I include my niece if she isn't in the bridal party?

My brother married a wonderful lady, making him a stepfather (and me consequently an aunt) to two older kids, a girl who is 10 and a boy who is 16. For my wedding, I have asked my niece-to-be (who is almost 4) to be my flower girl. I am much closer my fiance's family being we live so close, but how do I include the niece I have already in the wedding? I have only met her once, but don't want her to be left out. Could I ask her to be in charge of the guest book, and make sure everyone signs it and enters their information or does this sound too menial? Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated!!!

How do I include my niece if she isn't in the bridal party?
I think guest-book detail is an ideal job for a 10-year-old, especially one you have only met once. Besides, she's too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a bridesmaid, so it's not like she could have really had a part in the wedding party anyway. If you don't like the guest-book idea for some reason, appoint her "bubble girl" and have her be in charge of making sure all the guests have little wedding bubble bottles to blow bubbles at you as you make your way back down the aisle.
Reply:Thanks everyone for replying! I have a lot of great ideas now. Thank you July for pointing out the other not-so-nice side and giving other options. Report It

Reply:I was left out of my grandfathers wedding and as a kid it made me feel left out. I would have loved to be in charge of the guest book, its more important than just sitting there doing nothing but watching.
Reply:At 10, she could do a reading at the ceremony, pass out the programs at the ceremony, or have her - along with someone else - be at the guest book at the reception.
Reply:You could make her ring barer. Have her get a black and white dress. Or a off white dress. Or even a easter dress.


That way she would be in the wedding And there is no hard rule that the ring barer has to be a boy..
Reply:if you are conserned she wont feel included find her a dress to ware when she dose it
Reply:The book signer sounds like a good idea
Reply:You can have two flower girls.
Reply:its a wonderful job for a youngster and would give them a sense of importance. you could even go one step further, if your budget allows, and give her a basket of carnations, or mums, in your bridal colours and ask her to present one to each lady once they have signed the guest book!


i mentioned carnations and/or mums because they are generally relatively inexpensive!


a wedding we were recently at had their 11 year old cousin doing the guest book and handing out pretty little fans to the ladies, [the church was quite warm], she took her job quite seriously and was tickled with the fact that her dress was the same colour as the bridal party's dresses!


i'm not sure what she liked most, the guestbook, handing out fans, the fact that her dress matched the 'other girls' or her wee corsage pinned to her dress! she did a lovely job and was quite charming!


i'm sure your young lady would love to be involved, kudos to you for thinking of her.


happy wedding sweetie!
Reply:The guest book is a horrible idea. I don't mean to be mean: it sounds great, but practically it's not going to be much fun for her. People are coming in, right? And she probably doesn't know many of them. Some of them will make small talk with her, and she might find that a little awkward. A lot of ten year olds just aren't comfortable interacting with adults like that. Others will completely ignore her, which totally sucks. Or, worst yet, some relative she doesn't recognize will pinch her cheek and tell her she's grown. None of that's fun for a kid. The guest book gig isn't even that great for adults.





If you'd like her to be "in" the wedding, I suggest you make her a candle lighter. Before the wedding party enters she could walk down the aisle with either a big candle or a candle lighting wand and light all the candles around the altar. She'll still get to dress up and all that but won't have to deal with all those people.





Putting her in charge of handing out the bubbles or rice or whatever might also be a good fit. She's not going to be quite so much in the public eye, so to speak.





You also might make her a reception host. For instance, before you cut the cake she could bring out the knife on a platter. Before people make toasts, she could ring a bell. That sort of thing.





If she's a good reader and not afraid of public speaking, she could do a short reading during the ceremony or the reception. Ten is pretty young for that sort of thing.





Talk to her mom about what the girl might be comfortable doing.
Reply:You could have her help at the cake table. Or you can call her your Jr. personal assistant.
Reply:I agree with the book sign in keeper
Reply:Ask her to do a reading at your ceremony. Maybe you could give her a special job of taking your bouquet from you when you are at the alter-even though traditionally that is the MOH job, but you could bend the rules a little.


Asking her to be in charge of the guest book-making sure people sign in, taking it to and from the ceremony to the reception would be a good idea as well.


Or, you can put her in charge of the gift table-she can greet the guests and tell them where to place their gifts.


When you have your guests check in (assuming you will be doing that) you could have her and another adult (perhaps your brother) check all the guests in...


There are many things that you can do...just remember to get her a little gift for the rehearsal dinner since everyone else will be receiving one.
Reply:The guest book is a great idea. You might also want her to follow through the task at the reception also.





A small corsage will make her feel extra special also if your have it in your budget.
Reply:I also think the guest book is a great idea.


if the girl was my daughter i would definately not expect her to be involved in ANY way whatsoever as its your wedding, and youve only met her once!


I think the guestbook would be perfect or she could help tell people where to go as they come in.


good luck for your wedding


and if you find no job to suit her then dont worry. You have only met her once and i highly doubt the girl, let alone her mother will be expecting her involvement.





congrats and good luck!
Reply:To preside over the register is a great honor. She is too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a bridesmaid. This is the job a dear cousin had in my wedding and she absolutely glowed. Just please make sure her dress is special-age appropriate but coordinating with the wedding party. Your brother may have married a wonderful lady but he also has a wonderful lady for a sister.